


A Birthday Worth Celebrating

by Merchant



Category: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Awkward Sexual Situations, Birthday Sex, Bits of canon material, Blowjobs, Developing Relationship, Dirty Talk, First Time, Loss of Virginity, M/M, Mutual Pining, Oral Sex, pynch - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-10
Updated: 2015-11-10
Packaged: 2018-04-30 22:55:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,644
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5182718
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Merchant/pseuds/Merchant
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's Ronan's birthday, and he could care less about it. Adam decides to try and make sure Ronan has the best day ever, regardless.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Birthday Worth Celebrating

**Author's Note:**

> After finishing a book that had _really badly written gay sex_ in it, I was determined to write out one example of a _proper_ way to handle a gay relationship that could be related to actual ones. So, I decided to throw some canon details into this one for something new, while still maintaining the non-canon, and not turning it into an out of character shipping fic mess. 
> 
> I had to fix some things because of lazy writing, which defeats the point, and this ended up longer than I planned on it being. That's usually the case anyways. Hope you enjoy reading!
> 
> **The Raven Cycle, and its characters, are the sole property of Maggie Stiefvater. I am the owner of this work of ~~all birthdays should be like this~~ fanfiction.**

The day had finally arrived, a day that Ronan hadn’t been looking forward to for the past couple years. It was a day he tried to forget ever existed, because it reminded him that he was still alive. It was the day of his birth, 18 years ago now. He was finally of the age where he could return to the Barns.

Even with that fact in mind, being eighteen didn’t bring Ronan the joy it should have. He would have to fake it when Matthew would mention it, of course. He wouldn’t have to pretend with Declan, but he would rather not celebrate _anything_ at all.

Birthdays used to be days Ronan looked forward to, back when his father was still alive. Now that his father was dead, what was the point in celebrating? There was nothing good about Ronan’s birthday, until he remembered something that actually _was_ worth it all.

During one of their outings, Adam had confessed. It was so out of left field, that Ronan wasn’t sure if he had heard Adam correctly. “I know about your feelings,” Adam had said. There was a sudden pause, as Ronan was struck with the weight of these words.

“What the fuck? Like _hell_ you know,” Ronan had retorted, trying not to show how the words had affected him. Adam had just narrowed his eyes, he wasn’t buying it. “C’mon, you’re not fooling anyone. The rent, the hand lotion, the _mixtapes_? You couldn’t be more obvious if you had it attached to your back.”

Ronan was beginning to break just a bit more as Adam spoke. These were feelings he didn’t want to deal with at that moment, this was _not_ the conversation he wanted to have with Adam. It was making him angry, and he wanted to punch something, or simply get up and get the hell away from Adam.

There was a long, awkward silence between them. While battling the urge to cause destruction, another part of his brain, the part he kept locked up since that day he saw his father’s body lying in the driveway, was eating away at him. It made him afraid, afraid of what Adam had to say.

Was this going to be the day Adam rejected him? Of course it would, why wouldn’t it? Adam wasn’t interested, _couldn’t_ be interested in someone like Ronan. Still, there was a part of Ronan that _hoped_. It _hoped_ that Adam would accept, though it was such a small part, that Ronan pretended it didn’t exist.

“So what? You want more from me or some shit?” Ronan finally spoke out, layering on the spite into his tone so that Adam wouldn’t catch how afraid he was. “Why the fuck are you even saying this?” This shut Adam up, and the way Adam bit his bottom lip, Ronan felt immense guilt.

_Fuck, fuck, don’t look like that. I can’t stand it when you look like that,_ Ronan thought. “Can you not be an asshole for _five minutes_?” Adam finally retorted, returning the anger, “This is _really_ hard for me to say, and you’re jumping ahead without even _listening_ to me.” This was a surprise, because when did Adam stumble over his words? Ronan had seen him, had heard him speak out when he was angry. It made Ronan fall in love with him even more.

Ronan didn’t say anything else after that, and he turned his gaze away from Adam, just waiting. Waiting for Adam to say some bullshit about just staying friends, or that he supported Ronan’s sexuality but he didn’t feel that way, or anything else that Ronan had nightmares about, only the nightmares were much more dramatic and involved a lot more death.

It wasn’t as if Ronan didn’t expect rejection, he was too cynical to think otherwise. Everything else went to shit in his life, this was going to be no different. He wanted Adam to just _fucking say it_ already, just get it out in the open so Ronan could act like Adam was out of his damn mind, that it wasn’t going to crush him, and shatter his already fragile heart.

The silence was irritating Ronan, and he was about to just get up and leave from his spot in the grass where they were sitting, out near the Barns. Adam’s sigh made Ronan briefly glance at him, but then look away again.

“I have no idea what I’m doing,” Adam started. _That makes two of us_ , Ronan thought immediately. “I don’t know why the hell this is so hard to say. I’ve gone over it in my head, but now that the moment is actually here, I can’t get the words out properly,” Adam continued.

_How fucking hard is it to say “I don’t like you the same way. In fact, I think we should start hanging out less, because this is too awkward for me”?_ Ronan wanted to yell out, but didn‘t, instead balling his hands up into fists, pulling grass out of the ground as he did so. He closed his eyes, and took a deep breath in through his nose, and out of his mouth.

“I don’t think there is even a right way to say this, but I’m gonna try,” Adam went on, glancing down at his hands. He fidgeted with his fingers in his lap, not looking at Ronan as he continued. “I think…I might be feeling the same way.”

Ronan had to have misheard him, his mind had to have put those words in his head, and Adam hadn’t actually said them. Opening his eyes, he glanced at Adam again. “What?” he asked, though he had heard Adam. He just had to be sure he had heard Adam right.

“I don’t know what I’m saying, but it’s not a lie. It’s strange, not because it’s you, but…I’m not sure if this is _real_ , because I was not expecting to feel this way. It just came upon me, and I’ll admit that I was concerned at first, because I don’t want to think of you in any negative matter. I mean, I _don’t_ think about you negatively anyways, but…gah, what am I talking about? Go ahead, laugh at me, make fun of me,” Adam explained, resigning himself to silence once more.

Ronan didn’t laugh, and he didn’t make fun of what Adam said. He didn’t do _anything_ , aside from just stare at Adam blankly. Adam was trying not to look at him, and Ronan saw Adam clench one of his hands in the other. This was unexpected, for sure, but Ronan couldn’t react right away.

So much time had passed since he had developed feelings for Adam, this handsome boy that came into his life from literally nowhere. There were days Ronan wished Adam hadn’t enrolled at Aglionby, but this was not one of those days. This was one of those days where Ronan accepted the fact that Adam wanted to hang with him, be alone with him. This was one of those days where the part of him that yearned for Adam so deeply could creep through, even if he couldn’t do anything about it.

“What are you trying to say? Get to the point already,” Ronan stated, with less malice in his tone. “I’m saying that I understand you now, Ronan. I understand how you feel, because _I’m_ starting to feel what you’re feeling. Is it _really_ this complicated, having these feelings?” Adam replied, curiosity leaking into his tone as he spoke.

What Ronan knew was that Adam was actually asking him if it was complicated _having feelings for another guy_. This was where Ronan should have laughed, but he was too conflicted still. There was a possibility that Adam would realize that it was a passing crush, or a random feeling that wasn’t as strong as he thought it was.

“It doesn’t get easier,” was what Ronan responded with, instead. It was casual, but it was the best he could say without rambling on and on. He found some kind of irony in the fact that Adam was talking to _him_ about having feelings for another guy, when Ronan himself still didn’t understand it completely, though he had accepted the fact a long time ago.

This thought actually brought a bit of a smirk to his lips. “It kinda sucks, doesn’t it? You get these feelings, you don’t know what the fuck they even _mean,_ yet they won’t go away. They just fucking _linger_ on and on, until you want to bash your face into the fucking wall,” Ronan continued, but stopped when he realized he was slipping. This was bad, he was actually revealing some things about himself that he didn’t want anyone to know, especially not Adam.

He caught Adam give a simple nod in return, and Adam finally looked up, and smiled. “Yeah, it’s like that exactly. I’m glad you don’t think I’m weird or anything for telling you that,” he said. “Why the fuck would _I_ think _you’re_ weird?” Ronan shot back immediately, though he had only meant to _think_ those words.

“Well…because you’re _you_ ,” Adam simply replied. What he meant by those words, Ronan didn’t know. He could’ve been insulting him for all Ronan knew, but it didn’t _sound_ like he meant it to be offensive. “It’s difficult falling for you, after all. That’s what confuses me, but it also makes me believe that this is _something_ ,” Adam added.

They sat in silence again, either of them not knowing where to go from there. Ronan could feel a lightness in the pit of his stomach, a wave of happiness filling him inside from _not_ being rejected. The wind blew a gentle breeze over them, illuminating their silence.

“What happens now?” Ronan asked aloud, mostly to himself. Adam shrugged a bit, then he glanced at Ronan again. “Can I…,” he began, pausing briefly, and Ronan raised an eyebrow as he glanced at Adam, “…hold your hand?” A light blush formed on his cheeks then, and this time, Ronan did laugh.

It was a soft laugh, because this situation was too ridiculous, that it was actually amusing. Ronan dropped the grass he had pulled out as he raised his hand, and turned it out in Adam’s direction, holding it out in mid-air. Adam hesitated, but managed to slide his hand over Ronan’s, and grasp it gently. Ronan closed his hand over Adam’s, and lowered their hands onto the ground.

After a few minutes, Ronan felt Adam rest his head against his shoulder. He froze up momentarily, glancing down at Adam briefly, before glancing forward again. A small smile formed on his lips now, because this was fine. He gently squeezed Adam’s hand a bit tighter.

Once he remembered this, it gave Ronan the initiative to get up from the chair he had been sleeping in, and toss the blanket covering him over the back of it. He exited the barn he was in, covering his eyes with his hand as the sudden light blinded him.

It wouldn’t be long before Declan and Matthew would be calling him, wishing him a happy birthday. If not them, Gansey would be calling first, wondering how far from Monmouth he was. Once Ronan’s phone started buzzing, and he glanced at it, he saw that Gansey had beaten his brothers to the punch.

Not bothering to answer, as he often did, Ronan simply got into his BMW, started it up, and headed for Monmouth, just to get this whole deal over with. As he drove, he let himself get lost in yet another thought about Adam.

“Tell me, how long have you been in love with me?” Adam had asked him from his place on his bed, while Ronan was lying on the floor beside him. Adam had invited Ronan over to his apartment, very casually, but Ronan could see an ulterior motive in Adam’s eyes now. A look that said _I don’t want to be alone_.

The question made Ronan’s chest tighten, because hearing the words spoken aloud was different from just thinking about them. Especially the words _in love_ , words that Ronan tried to deny were the truth, but Adam had drilled them into his heart by saying them, because it _was_ the truth.

“Remember that day you came to Monmouth, and Gansey got that call from Helen? He left to go who the fuck knows where, and we were waiting for him. You wouldn’t talk to me, wouldn’t even look at me. That was fine, because I couldn’t fucking _stand_ you then, and I was hoping you’d leave when Gansey didn’t return right away,” Ronan began to explain.

Adam turned to lie on his side, peering down at Ronan now. He was listening, waiting for Ronan to finish speaking. Ronan saw that even though Adam had a blank expression, there was still a sadness in his gaze. Ronan quickly looked away, as he continued speaking.

“You were Gansey’s lapdog anyway, yet Gansey made me promise to be _nice_ to you. So, when Gansey wasn’t coming back, I decided to take you on a drive. You looked so fucking shocked when I told you to come with me, I think you must have been afraid I was going to take you to some dark alley and murder you,” he said, smirking a bit. “Still, you followed me, and we went on that drive. I don’t even remember where we went, I didn’t have a place in mind.”

There was a brief pause, and Ronan glanced up at the ceiling. “We went to that abandoned parking lot, where the old supermarket was. There were still carts left from the store, and I told you to get in one of them. You hesitated, and I thought I was going to have to drag you into it. You must have thought so too, and you finally got in. I pushed you all over the lot, and then I saw that little hill, that went into the woods. We went _flying_ down that hill, do you remember?” he went on.

“Then the cart flipped, and we slid the rest of the way down. Over the rocks, and branches, and whatever else was there. When we finally stopped moving, I could feel all of the scrapes on my arms. You were lying on the ground, and I saw that you were all scratched up as well. I expected you to start crying, or start bitching at me. Maybe I scared you enough that you wouldn’t bother coming back to Monmouth. But what the fuck do you do? You started fucking _smiling_. Even as you were bleeding, and obviously bruised up, you never looked like you were hurting. It looked as if you were enjoying yourself.”

It was then that Ronan finally looked at Adam again, meeting his gaze. “That’s when it started. You confused me, especially after you continued to show up at Monmouth, and kept allowing yourself to be alone with me. After a while, I realized you weren’t going anywhere, and it seemed like you actually preferred to hang around me more than Gansey. The more time I spent with you, the more I knew. I knew you were going to be important to me,” he finished.

Adam slid one of his hands down to touch Ronan’s cheek, stroking along his jaw with his fingers. Ronan slowly took hold of his hand, and placed his forehead against the back of Adam’s fingers. “Then I saw the bruises on your face, the cuts on your lip, and I understood. No matter what I did, I was never going to cause you as much pain as your father did,” he added, almost whispering the words. “It hurt me, seeing you like that. I wondered why the hell you didn’t fight back, because I know you’re capable of it. It made me sick to think about it, and that’s when I knew that I _had_ to keep you safe. So, that’s what I did, what I’m _trying_ to keep doing.”

After Ronan finished, Adam continued to stare down at Ronan. Ronan had really done so much for him, and it felt like he was just taking advantage of it all. Ronan had made him realize that he mattered to someone, and he had done nothing to prove how grateful he was. Adam slid his hand away, as he sat up on his bed.

“Come sit with me,” he said softly. Ronan looked up at Adam, a curious look in his eyes. “Please,” Adam added, and Ronan immediately sat up, then climbed up onto Adam’s bed. Adam shifted around to try and make room for Ronan on the small bed, but it was a bit difficult. Adam eventually had to kneel behind Ronan, and as he did, he draped his arms over Ronan’s broad shoulders, and rested his head against his neck.

“You’re really clingy,” Ronan teased, but Adam wasn’t having it. “Shut up, let me have this moment. I haven’t been able to get close to someone like this, and I’m already embarrassed,” Adam retorted, his words a bit mumbled against Ronan’s skin.

Ronan didn’t say anything more, he just closed his eyes. He concentrated on the feel of Adam’s warm body against his, the way his arms felt around him. Ronan could have told Adam about how he had dreamed of moments like this, but that would be awkward, and Adam would probably ask him about the dreams. _Those_ were not things Ronan wanted to discuss.

As they sat there like this, Ronan felt the urge to reach up and clasp his hands in Adam’s, but was interrupted by the feel of Adam’s lips against his neck. It was a light touch, not exactly a kiss, but close enough. The contact made Ronan shiver, and Adam pulled back. “Sorry,” he apologized, and Ronan could hear the embarrassment in his tone.

Ronan wanted to tell Adam that it was okay, that it hadn’t bothered him, but that wouldn’t be completely true. While it didn’t exactly bother him, Ronan was worried about what would happen if he let Adam continue. Ronan’s pining was kept under control out of fear, and it had built up over time, so much that Ronan couldn’t keep it completely out of his mind.

He wasn’t completely used to the idea of whatever _this_ was, if it was _anything_ at all. Adam had pulled his arms away, and Ronan was about to slide back onto the floor, away from Adam, away from the longing. “Stay here with me tonight,” Adam whispered, and the words made Ronan turn his head a bit. It wasn’t like he was going anywhere, he had spent many nights sleeping on Adam’s floor. The way Adam said those words sounded like he thought he had done something wrong, and that he was going to push Ronan away.

Ronan wanted to tell him that he wasn’t going to leave, that Adam didn’t have to worry. However, Ronan was stricken by the fact that Adam’s words mimicked thoughts Ronan had in his own mind. He never wanted Adam to hate him, he wanted Adam to _need_ him. That’s why he never showed up at Adam’s apartment un-invited, he didn’t want Adam to feel like he was invading his space, now that they had confessed their feelings for each other.

Adam curled up on the bed beside Ronan, breaking Ronan’s concentration. When he turned his head to look at him, Adam looked back at him, and Ronan could see how tired Adam really was. Adam’s eyelids slid closed ever so slightly, his lips parting a bit. Ronan stared at the shape of Adam’s lips, wondering if they felt as soft as they looked.

Suddenly, Adam turned and faced away from Ronan, his back to him. Ronan could only stare at Adam’s back, fighting back the urge to reach out and stroke Adam’s head. What Adam said next was probably one of the worst things he could say at that moment. “Will you hold me until I fall asleep?” Adam asked abruptly.

_I can’t do that, because it will hurt me way too much. This is already enough, and if I do that, I’ll want more from you and I don’t want to end up hurting you_ , Ronan wanted to say. “Okay,” was what he said instead, because _not_ doing anything would probably make Adam feel unwanted, and Ronan didn’t want that either.

Ronan carefully began to slide his arms around Adam’s chest, his heart pounding in his own chest. He swallowed the shame that was starting to creep out of his mind, making his hands shake. Ronan willed his hands to stop shaking, as he clasped them together after successfully wrapping them around Adam. It was rather awkward, because Adam’s body was inches away from his, almost as if Ronan was trying to keep Adam away from him.

To make matters even more difficult, Adam then shifted his body back against Ronan, until they were perfectly spooned together. Adam nuzzled his head against Ronan’s chest, and Ronan could now feel every bit of warmth from Adam’s body.

It wasn’t unpleasant at all, but the fact that it wasn’t was eating away at Ronan. This shouldn’t be happening, Ronan was planning on letting Adam go as soon as he knew Adam was fast asleep. Still, Ronan couldn’t help but glance at the side of Adam’s head, to his cheek. Ronan could simply inch closer, and kiss that cheek, to feel Adam’s skin against him.

He could’ve buried his head in Adam’s neck, breathing in his scent and letting it comfort him into a deep slumber. All it would take was some careful maneuvering, and Ronan could have Adam lying on his back, and Ronan could press his lips against Adam’s, and kiss him softly. He _wanted_ to kiss Adam softly, to remind Adam that he was here for him, that he would _always_ be there for him, but it wasn’t that easy.

It wouldn’t be the end of it, it would be a struggle. Emotions would battle within Ronan’s head, and it could cause some _serious_ disaster. Right now, Ronan had to worry about his body reacting to how close Adam was, how warm and _good_ he felt. That would destroy everything, if Ronan’s body betrayed his thoughts, if his dick got hard and Adam felt it, if Adam _knew_ that Ronan _had_ those kind of feelings for him. Ronan was probably not going to get any sleep that night.

The morning after that, Ronan awoke to Adam’s body shifting away from his. The lack of warmth was what helped Ronan to realize that he was waking up, that he wasn’t stuck in another dream. He didn’t know when he had managed to fall asleep, but it seemed that he had.

“Mornin’,” Adam greeted when he saw Ronan was awake, giving him a gentle smile. He had let his accent slip out, but Ronan wasn’t fully awake enough to get a reaction from it. He was glad that he had gotten through the night without incident. He gave a low groan in response, as he rubbed his face.

Ronan climbed off of Adam’s bed, stretching out. Adam caught sight of Ronan’s tank top sliding up his stomach, revealing a bit of dark hairs leading down into his pants. He quickly glanced away as Ronan took a few steps away from him. “I need to get ready for work, but I’ll have Gansey bring me over to Monmouth later,” he said.

In response, Ronan just nodded, and reached out for the door handle. As he began to turn it, he felt Adam grab his wrist on his other arm, stopping him. “Wait, don’t go just yet,” he stated, and Ronan turned to face Adam.

Adam glanced away from Ronan, then back at him, then he looked at the floor. He was still holding onto Ronan’s wrist. Ronan looked at Adam’s hand, then at his bowed head. “I thought you had to get ready,” he said, causing Adam to look up at him again, a puzzled expression on his face.

“I do, but…I want to try something first,” Adam replied, and now Ronan was curious. He couldn’t contemplate what Adam had in mind. Adam didn’t seem to know what to do himself, until he suddenly let go of Ronan’s wrist, and turned to face him completely.

Ronan watched as Adam placed his hands on his shoulders, and then Adam’s was leaning up, his face getting closer to Ronan’s. This sent alarms through Ronan’s body, and he tensed up. This was dangerous, and Ronan was now _wide_ awake.

Adam leaned his face towards Ronan’s cheek, which gave Ronan a bit of relief. The relief was quickly squashed, as at the last moment, Adam gently placed his lips against Ronan’s, closing his eyes as he did. Ronan’s entire body froze, and he was sure his heart had stopped beating in his chest.

They didn’t move, just stood there like that. Ronan wasn’t aware of what was happening, until Adam started moving his lips. It was slow, and gentle, but they were kissing. Ronan let Adam lead, moving his own lips just as slowly. Ronan finally returned to his body again, and all sorts of feelings started a war within him.

Their kiss lingered, and Ronan didn’t know how long they were standing there. All he knew was this felt _so right_ , and he wanted to keep kissing Adam. As he began to close his eyes, began to start kissing Adam with a bit more force, his mind suddenly screamed loudly at him to _stop right then_.

Ronan suddenly pushed Adam away, more forcefully than he thought. The result showed on Adam’s face, in his slightly widened eyes, in the way his cheeks had turned a light pink. Ronan placed his hands on Adam’s arms, and stood there as he regained control of his thoughts. He took a few breaths out of his mouth, and when he looked up at Adam briefly, he hoped that Adam couldn’t see the _longing_ in his eyes, the way Ronan had almost crossed over the forbidden line.

“I’m so sorry,” Adam whispered, and Ronan reacted immediately. He let go of Adam, leaving him to stand there as he quickly opened the door to the apartment, and quickly retreated down the stairs, skipping a few steps and leaping off the last two as he made his way back to the BMW.

When he got inside, he slammed the door behind him, and brought his trembling hands to the steering wheel, gripping it to stop the shaking. Ronan suddenly pounded his fists against the steering wheel, letting out a deep growl as he glared at it, gritting his teeth. He started up the BMW, cranked up his radio, and sped off while a bass-heavy song pounded through the car speakers.

Ronan was interrupted from his reminiscing by his phone buzzing again. He didn’t check it this time, but it stopped buzzing as soon as he pulled into the lot of Monmouth Manufacturing. When he parked the BMW and shut it off, he brought a couple fingers up to his lips, remembering how they felt pressed against Adam’s. It had been weeks, maybe months, since that ordeal had happened, and since then, Ronan had made sure that Adam knew that he had done nothing wrong. Ronan also made sure to avoid their lips meeting again, only allowing Adam to kiss his cheek.

Gansey peered out from the front window, then quickly retreated as Ronan got out of the car. When Ronan made his way up the steps to the front door, then pried the door open, he had to quickly duck away as Noah threw confetti and glitter into the air over his head.

“Happy Birthday, Ronan!” Noah exclaimed, grinning. “That shit better not be on me, or I’ll throw you out of a window again,” Ronan warned, irritated. Gansey came to greet Ronan, shoving a wrapped present into his arms. “Happy Birthday, Ronan,” he echoed in a softer tone, smiling.

Ronan looked down at the present in his arms, wondering what Gansey could have gotten him. “Thanks,” he simply responded, and as he headed towards the stairs, Adam and Blue came around to greet him. Ronan and Adam exchanged brief glances, before Blue held out a small, wrapped package to him. “Happy Birthday, and I don’t want to hear any complaints about what I got you. Some of us don’t have easy access to money, after all,” she stated, earning a smirk from Adam.

Ronan pretended he didn’t see the smirk, and just walked past them, heading up to his room. When he got there, he opened the door, and deposited the gifts on his dresser. Chainsaw greeted him with a loud screech, and Ronan went over to her cage, and opened it. The raven flew out onto his shoulder, and Ronan petted her head affectionately.

When Ronan returned downstairs, Gansey was busy discussing something with the other three. “All right, now that you’re here, let’s get the celebrations going,” he said, turning his attention to Ronan. Ronan scoffed, and glanced away, since celebrating was the last thing he wanted to do.

“You only turn eighteen once,” Gansey added, knowing Ronan was planning on protesting. No matter what, Ronan wasn’t getting out of this whole deal. He’d rather just get it all out of the way, and be done with it. It was only a matter of time before Declan or Matthew would be calling, and Ronan would rather deal with Gansey and the others, than deal with Declan.

When he felt Adam gently brush his fingers against his arm, Ronan looked at him. No, the person he’d rather spend the day with was standing right there. However, the others didn’t know about how close he and Adam had become, so Ronan just brushed past Adam, with Chainsaw nibbling at the top of his ear, as if she was scolding him.

“So, where are we going?” Ronan asked as he stood in front of Gansey. Gansey clapped his hands together. “I know it’s a big day for you and all, but I also know you’ll fight against doing anything too extravagant, so Jane suggested we just go to Nino’s, keep it really casual,” he replied. _Of course_ , thought Ronan, shifting his eyes toward Blue, who was talking to Noah.

Ronan reached his arm up and back towards Chainsaw, nudging her onto his forearm. The raven jumped onto his forearm, and looked at him. “You heard the man. Be a good girl and keep watch over this place, all right?” he addressed to the bird, and Chainsaw gave a low _caw_ in reply, flying off of Ronan’s arm and up to the upstairs railing, perching right in front of Ronan’s door.

They headed out then, Ronan going towards his BMW yet again. As he got in, the passenger door opened and Adam was climbing into the front seat. They didn’t speak, but as Ronan started the car up, Adam brought a hand over Ronan’s, running his fingers over the back of Ronan’s hand.

“I’ll give you my gift later, when the others aren’t around. I’ll probably stay the night, but I’ll make sure Gansey doesn’t get suspicious,” Adam suddenly said, and Ronan hesitated for a brief moment, before pulling away.

Once they arrived at Nino’s, and headed inside, Ronan suddenly felt an uneasiness in the air. Something didn’t seem right, and he kept his guard up as they sat at a table. After a few minutes had passed, Ronan realized why he felt so uneasy. The Aglionby students that filled the place kept glancing at him, and looking away when Ronan turned to look at them.

Five minutes later, Nino’s was suddenly overtaken by singing. As a cake was being brought over to their table, Ronan realized that the singing was for _him. I fucking hate you, Gansey_ , Ronan instantly thought, bringing his hands up to his temples, rubbing them as the cake was set on their table, a few burning candles placed around the top of it.

Ronan had to hold back the urge to punch something as the singing continued. The song seemed longer than it actually was, mostly because Ronan suddenly wanted to be anywhere but there. It was a trap, and Ronan should’ve figured as such.

When the song was over, and the applause had died down, Ronan finally straightened up, instantly relieved. He was aware that everyone was waiting for him to make a wish and blow out the candles. What would he wish for? Wishes were bullshit, they wouldn’t give him what he truly wanted, which was for things to go back to when his father was alive, when things were right in the world.

A hand on his thigh suddenly distracted him, and when he looked, it was Adam’s hand, rubbing his thigh reassuringly. Ronan closed his eyes, and threw everything to the wind. _I hope I can make Adam happy, and that this thing between us works out,_ he thought, before opening his eyes and blowing out the lit candles on the cake. As if on cue, Ronan’s phone rang, and Ronan didn’t need to look to know who it was.

Grabbing his phone from his pocket, Ronan answered the call, putting the phone to his ear. “What?” he said into the phone. “Happy Birthday, for one. Two, what are you doing? Matthew and I will come get you. He’s really anxious to see you,” Declan’s voice replied. “I’m at Nino’s, don’t rush getting here,” Ronan quickly added, knowing there was _absolutely_ no way he’d get out of not seeing his brothers. The only reason he was doing it was because of Matthew, anyway. He hung up the phone, and set it on the table.

Ronan began to dig into the slice of cake that was presented to him. It was white cake with chocolate frosting, and it gave Ronan a bit of comfort, and he thought of his mother baking cakes for him every birthday. She would probably still do so, if she wasn’t trapped in Cabeswater.

After he finished the slice, he slid the plate away from him, grabbing his phone. “Well, family business. Catch you all later,” he said, as Adam slid out of the booth to let Ronan out. Ronan hoped Adam would be waiting for him when he returned to Monmouth, because that was the other reason he was allowing Declan and Matthew to drag him away.

Outside, Declan’s car had just pulled up as Ronan exited the restaurant. He got into the passenger seat without a word, and Matthew grabbed him around the neck from the back seat. “Happy Birthday, Ronan!” he yelled out, and his enthusiasm reminded Ronan of Noah. He was sure Matthew would get along great with Noah, if they were able to meet.

Declan drove further into town, stopping at a restaurant that was fancier than Nino’s for Ronan’s birthday dinner. Ronan would just have to deal with it, it would only be for a short time anyway.

As they ate, they made idle chit-chat, Declan doing most of the talking. Ronan wasn’t interested in most of what Declan was saying, instead focusing on how much longer it would be before he could see Adam again.

Ronan was filled with relief when Declan finally dropped him off at Nino’s again, after talking to him privately about the fact that Ronan was now legally able to move back into the Barns, but Matthew was not so Ronan shouldn’t try to move back into their family home. Those were words Ronan _didn’t_ need to hear, even though he already knew as much.

When Ronan returned to Monmouth, Adam was sitting outside on the front steps. Seeing the BMW pull up, Adam stood up, and retreated back inside the building. It was a welcome sight, one that filled Ronan with all kinds of warm feelings.

Adam had agreed to stay in Noah’s room for the night, after Gansey had calmed down from how excited he was that Adam was staying over. When they had all returned to their rooms for the night, Adam waited and then made his move, holding a wrapped gift to his chest.

Gansey was awake as usual, working on his model of Henrietta, when Adam peeked out from Noah’s room. Noah had casually sat against the wall in his room, never needing to sleep, and Adam brought a finger to his lips to tell Noah to keep quiet as he snuck out.

Adam saw that Gansey had his headphones on as he worked, so this was a matter of remaining out of sight, which wouldn’t be difficult. As he shut the door behind him, he crept past the large living room, past Gansey’s bed, keeping watch for any sudden movements that would draw Gansey’s attention to him.

Aside from one close call, Adam succeeded in hurrying up to the second floor. He headed towards Ronan’s room, and when he reached it, Ronan suddenly opened the door, almost crashing right into Adam. Thankfully, there wasn’t a collision, and Adam quickly pushed Ronan back into his room as he entered, shutting the door behind him.

Wrapping and tissue paper littered the floor in front of Ronan’s dresser, and Adam saw that a new shaving set and a handful of leather bands now sat on top of the dresser. “Gifts, I’m guessing?” Adam asked, which was probably obvious. “Gifts, and I’m glad this fucking day will be over soon,” Ronan replied.

Smiling sympathetically, Adam held out his own gift. “Care for one more?” he asked, and Ronan took the gift from his hand. It was wrapped in old newspaper, and covered in more tape than necessary. There was even a small bow stuck on it, which Ronan pulled off as he began tearing the paper, dropping the pieces to the floor to be picked up later.

When all of the paper was removed, Adam’s gift was revealed to be a CD. A Celtic music CD, at that. “I wasn’t sure if you had that one, or if you even listen to CDs anymore,” Adam explained as Ronan looked the case over. Even if he _did_ have it, Ronan would’ve still accepted the gift. This was more important to him than the new watch Declan had gotten him, he would treasure this more so.

Setting the CD down with the other gifts, Adam grabbed the bow from Ronan’s hand. “Wait, there’s more,” Adam added, moving his bangs away from his forehead, sticking the bow on his skin. When Ronan turned to look, he snickered at the sight of Adam with the bow awkwardly stuck to his forehead.

“I wasn’t able to celebrate my 18th birthday, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be able to. So, I’m going to make sure you have the best birthday,” Adam explained, holding his arms out to his sides, offering himself to Ronan.

Ronan snickered a bit more, glancing away from Adam, then back again. When he looked at Adam again, Adam was still standing there with his arms outstretched. Seeing the slight blush on Adam’s cheeks, the way his bottom lip shifted with slight unease, Ronan stopped snickering.

“You’re _serious?”_ Ronan inquired, asking a question regarding the implications of Adam’s words. Adam gave a slow nod, and Ronan sighed, taking two steps toward Adam. He grabbed the bow off of Adam’s forehead, tossing it away. He reached out his arms to Adam, but paused before he could reach him. Adam watched as Ronan hesitated, then he stepped forward, and carefully placed his arms around Ronan. It was then that Ronan settled his arms around Adam, pulling him close.

No matter how many times he held Adam, Ronan never tired of it. As Adam wrapped his arms tighter around Ronan, Ronan felt whole, a feeling he hadn’t had in so long. “I wanted to give you myself as a complementary gift, if you’ll have me,” Adam mumbled against Ronan’s shoulder. These words made Ronan grip at the back of Adam’s shirt, clenching his hands into fists as he let the words sink in.

“You don’t know what you’re saying,” Ronan whispered, a bit of worry creeping into his voice. There were many ways he could interpret Adam’s words, and most of them scared Ronan. They all ended in the same fact, however, which was that Ronan _would_ have Adam, if Adam let him.

Adam reached up to run his fingertips along the back of Ronan’s neck. Ronan shivered, his body tensing up from the contact. Unconsciously, he held Adam tighter, pressing him against his body even more. “It’s been months, and I know we’ve been avoiding each other, avoiding too much physical contact, even when we’ve become so close. When we’re like this, when I get to hold you, I know you’re holding back, because you think you’ll hurt me. We can’t keep going on like this though, it’s just hurting us both,” Adam began to say.

“I trust you the most, Ronan. I’m not saying all of this just because it’s your birthday, although that’s another good reason to say it. It’s killing me, that we keep denying what we really want from each other. I want to kiss you, I want you to kiss me. I _want_ you, Ronan, I _want you so much_. Please, let me kiss you at least, and we won’t go any further if you don’t want to. Let me know how it feels to kiss you at least.”

Ronan was truly weak, he was utterly and completely weak when it came to Adam. He was finding it hard to keep resisting Adam, but he just couldn’t trust himself once he allowed himself to let go completely, and surrender to his desires.

Desires that had been building up for so long, filling Ronan’s mind and body until he thought he would explode from it all. Months of gentle touches, of holding each other and feeling each other’s warmth wasn’t enough, and Ronan knew it wasn’t enough.

“I…I don’t know if I can,” Ronan whispered against Adam’s ear as he pressed his face into Adam’s neck, breathing in the scent of his skin. “Just one kiss, that’s all I ask,” Adam reassured. Ronan loosened his hold on Adam’s shirt, pulling back to look at him.

“Aren’t you scared of what could happen from just one kiss?” Ronan asked, though he could feel Adam’s hands shake. Adam clutched at Ronan’s tank top then. “I am scared, but I’m mostly in control right now. I’m not as scared as I was before, and like I said, I trust you the most. I don’t want to be afraid to be close to you anymore,” Adam replied.  
  
“Fine, just one kiss,” Ronan echoed, resigning to the fact that Adam was trusting him this much, and Adam smiled. That smile could get Ronan to do anything, but it wasn’t helping the tight strings wound up within him. Ronan closed his eyes, and he felt Adam’s breath ghost over his cheek, felt Adam inching closer and closer to him without having to see it happen.

Then Adam’s lips were against his, kissing him. They moved against Ronan’s, and Ronan was moving his lips against Adam’s just the same. As they kissed, Ronan felt the strings within him snap off one by one, as his entire body reacted to the kiss. This time, Ronan didn’t push Adam away when Adam started to deepen the kiss.

This simple kiss was making Ronan realize just what he had been holding out on, it was reminding him of what he desperately wanted from Adam. What his _body_ wanted from Adam, which was to be touched. Ronan wanted everything from Adam, and he was trying to fight these urges.

The way they were kissing, lips moving against each other as if they had always belonged together, was clouding Ronan’s thoughts, filling his mind and body with _need_. Adam started to softly moan as their kiss deepened even more, and Ronan pressed Adam against him even tighter.

Ronan could feel Adam’s dick through his pants, pressed up against his stomach, which was very hard at the moment. It seemed Adam wasn’t lying about how bad he wanted Ronan, and this was feeding the part of Ronan’s mind that he was afraid would break out and hurt Adam.

Ronan’s dick was pressing against his jeans, rock hard and thirsty for the attention it craved, that Ronan wasn’t allowing. The part of his mind that warned him not to go too far was slowly slipping away, as his body betrayed him, as the part of his mind that controlled his deepest desires started to take over.

When he finally pulled away from Adam, Ronan went to his bed, Adam’s gaze following him. Ronan climbed onto the bed, lying on his back as Adam climbed on the bed with him. Ronan’s erection was obvious between his legs, but Adam wasn’t looking in that direction. Adam was more focused on Ronan’s eyes, the way he was looking at him. The hungry look that was only making Adam want him more.

As Adam climbed over him, Ronan caught sight of the bulge poking out from the front of Adam’s pants, and was temporarily distracted until Adam was resting on top of him, and kissing him again, grinding his hips into Ronan’s as he did. The trembling in Adam’s hands was mostly gone now, as Adam surrendered to what his body wanted most.

This combination was making them both groan, and Ronan arched up against Adam as they continued grinding on each other. Adam pulled away to trace kisses along Ronan’s cheek, down to his neck. As he kissed at Ronan’s neck, groaning against Ronan’s ear as their hips moved, he began whispering again.

“ _God, I just want to touch you so badly. I need to get out of these clothes,”_ Adam said in Ronan’s ear, and Ronan started tugging Adam’s shirt off. “We have to be quiet, so that Gansey doesn’t hear,” Ronan warned, as he removed Adam’s shirt, too far gone now and lost in the moment.

Adam nodded, and began pulling Ronan’s tank top off. As he did, he placed hungry kisses against Ronan’s chest, taking one of Ronan’s nipples into his teeth, nibbling and then sucking at it. Ronan let out a shaky groan, before he pulled Adam up, and took his bottom lip into his mouth, gently sucking on it before kissing Adam again, tracing his tongue along Adam’s bottom lip.

Adam moaned softly, before brushing his tongue against Ronan’s as they kissed. Their tongues slid over each other as they pressed their bare chests against each other. Ronan was working on getting Adam’s pants undone and unzipped, and then he slid his hand into Adam’s boxers, feeling the heat of his skin as he ran his palm over the shaft of Adam’s dick, feeling the wetness of Adam’s pre-cum as it leaked from the tip.

Feeling his dick being touched, Adam pulled back, burying his face into Ronan’s shoulder as he moaned loudly, arching his hips against Ronan’s hand. “ _Stroke it, please. Stroke my dick,_ ” Adam whispered, pleading with Ronan. Hearing these words, Ronan’s mind broke, his self-control mostly gone, and he was all adrenaline and fire.

Ronan slid his hand out of Adam’s boxers, and slid Adam’s pants and boxers down as far as he could reach in this position. Once they were down, and Ronan felt Adam’s dick press against his lower stomach, he wrapped his hand around the base of Adam’s dick, and began to stroke him slowly.

As he did, Adam began to softly breathe out over and over, his lips parted as he lie his head down on Ronan’s chest. Ronan could feel the way Adam’s thick dick pulsed in his hand, and he was hypnotized by the way Adam was moaning, and gently panting from his touching.

So far, things were going really well, even _more_ than that, things were _fucking amazing_. Ronan let Adam take the lead, so that he could focus on finding out what made Adam feel good. Ronan reached his other hand down to cup Adam’s balls, rubbing them as he continued to stroke Adam.

“ _Ahhh…you’re going to make me cum if you…mmm…keep doing that,”_ Adam breathed out, arching his hips even more. “ _You’re really into this, aren’t you?”_ Ronan teased, and Adam’s face heated up even more. He bit his lip to try and stifle his sounds, and nodded slightly.

Ronan kept it up for a few moments more, just so that he could hear Adam’s moaning, enjoying just how much Adam was getting off from this. “ _Let me touch you too. I want to stroke you like this,_ ” Adam added after another moment.

With that said, Ronan stopped stroking Adam’s dick, and instead took one of Adam’s hands in his, and placed it over the front of his jeans, so that Adam could _feel_ how turned on Ronan was. “ _See what you do to me? Fucking hell, Adam,_ ” Ronan whispered, and Adam grinned.

“ _I want to see it,_ ” Adam added, as he turned his focus on getting Ronan’s jeans undone and unzipped. He slid Ronan’s jeans and boxers down then, and Ronan welcomed the feeling as his dick was freed from its restraints.

A soft gasp escaped Adam’s lips as he wrapped a hand around the base of Ronan’s dick, and began to slowly stroke along the shaft, up to the head. “ _Mmm…your dick feels so good to touch. I can feel it throbbing,_ ” Adam murmured, and Ronan just groaned as he was stroked. He _desperately_ needed this, he had been pining and holding back for _far_ too long. Plus, this side of Adam, the one where he was turned on, was something Ronan wanted to get to know better.

Adam continued to stroke him, rubbing his dick against Ronan’s as he did, and Ronan closed his eyes slightly, biting his bottom lip as he was stroked, low growls escaping his throat as he tried not to be too loud. Lust clouded his vision, but he was doing well at keeping some of his self-control. Letting Adam lead was a good idea, after all.

“ _Hey Ronan…?_ ” Adam suddenly whispered moments later, pausing. He bit his bottom lip, and Ronan wished he wouldn’t do that, because it was _so tempting_. “ _Can I….can I suck you off?”_ Adam finally got out, glancing away for a moment, “ _I’ve…really wanted to suck your dick for a while now._ ”

Ronan almost came at hearing those words, especially how _innocent_ they sounded. He glanced down at Adam, as Adam managed to gaze back at him, that pleading look in his eyes returning. “ _If you really want to, I won’t stop you_ ,” Ronan replied, and Adam grinned.

Adam moved down Ronan’s body then, leaning down to place kisses along Ronan’s lower stomach. As he placed his head over Ronan’s lap, Adam looked up at Ronan again. “ _Show me how to make you feel good. I want to hear you moan as much as possible,_ ” he suggested, and Ronan carefully placed a hand on the back of Adam’s head.

Ronan felt Adam’s lips brush against the head of his dick, and then felt Adam’s tongue as it traced along the tip, playfully. Ronan gently pushed Adam’s head down, and moaned as he felt his dick sliding into Adam’s open mouth, deeper and deeper. When Adam could take no more of Ronan’s dick into his mouth, he started to suck on it.

As he did, Ronan began to press against the back of Adam’s head, moaning again from the feeling. Ronan was careful as he did this, so that he wouldn’t accidentally choke Adam. He was quite happy that Adam was trusting him enough to let him guide him like this.

Adam continued to suck Ronan off, moving his head along with Ronan’s guidance. He would moan as Ronan guided his head back and forth. The wet sounds Adam’s mouth was making as he took Ronan’s dick in over and over were such a turn-on, and the way Adam kept moaning as he bobbed his head in Ronan’s lap was driving Ronan crazy.

The pace increased as Adam got more into it, and Ronan wasn’t sure if it was because he was unconsciously making Adam go faster, or if Adam was doing it all on his own. It didn’t matter either way, because it felt _so, so good_ and Ronan could feel his orgasm building up rather quickly.

The faster Adam sucked him off, the more Adam would moan. Ronan couldn’t remind him to stay quiet, because he was too busy moaning as well. “ _Adam…mmm…God, I’m going to cum. Fuck, you’re so good at sucking me off,”_ Ronan mumbled out. It was true, Adam was doing _so well_ for his first time, as if it wasn’t something new to him at all.

Ronan’s orgasm hit him rather quickly soon after that, and he didn’t have time to warn Adam, before he was shooting spurts of cum into his mouth, groaning and clutching Adam’s hair as he came.

As he rode out the orgasm, Ronan quickly let go of Adam’s hair. “Sorry, sorry. You don’t have to swallow it, you already did plenty,” he started to say, remembering that he was supposed to be careful. Adam had already swallowed after Ronan said that, though, and was currently sucking out every last drop of cum from Ronan’s dick, before pulling away.

Ronan felt his thoughts clear up as the euphoria started to diminish, but he couldn’t find any more words to say. It was _way_ too intense, and he was cursing himself for not letting Adam do this sooner. Adam was looking up at him now, his eyes still full of such _want_ , hungry for more. It was the look Ronan was sure he gave to Adam quite often, but tried to cover up. So _that’s_ what it looked like, it was quite sexy after all.

“Do you…want to keep going?” Ronan asked, both cautiously and curiously. He didn’t want Adam to feel rushed, or forced into things he wasn’t ready for. Adam didn’t _look_ like he was uncomfortable, but Ronan didn’t know what he could be thinking.

“What, and not let you have a turn? It’s only fair that I let you suck my dick, after I’ve sucked yours. If you want to, that is. I don’t mind either way,” Adam replied, answering the question in a roundabout way, though the smirk that formed on his lips told Ronan plenty. As if Ronan was going to refuse that offer as it was, because he _did_ want all of Adam for himself.

“ _Fuck…yes, I want to suck you off_ ,” Ronan whispered, finally finding his voice completely again. He sat up as Adam climbed off of him, and rolled onto his back. Ronan could see Adam’s dick twitch as he moved closer to it, and then he rested one arm over Adam’s stomach, and the other over his thighs.

“ _You’re sure? There’s no turning back now,”_ Ronan began, but Adam just nodded. “ _Don’t worry, I’ll let you cum in my mouth. I want you to anyways, because it’s only fair. Remember, you have to be quiet, no matter how good it feels,_ ” he teased, adding some smugness in for good measure.

Adam just lie there, as Ronan kissed along his inner thigh, up to his waist. When Ronan moved back down to Adam’s lap, he ran his tongue along the shaft of Adam’s dick, before pausing at the head. Adam’s leg twitched as Ronan did this, he was already so sensitive.

Ronan then began to slide Adam’s dick into his mouth, wrapping his lips around him as he took him in. Adam arched his hips up from the feeling, a soft cry escaping his lips, before he covered his mouth with one of his hands, blushing furiously.

When Adam arched up, Ronan gently pushed his hips back down. Ronan wished they didn’t have to stay quiet, because he _really_ wanted to hear Adam get loud, and lose himself completely like he had done to Ronan.

Ronan slid his mouth down Adam’s shaft, taking in as much as he could as he sucked. Adam tasted really good, and Ronan was quickly getting addicted to the taste, already feeling himself start to get hard again. As he sucked, soft moans escaped his throat. As he increased his pace, Adam tilted his head and moaned against a pillow to stifle the sound.

These sounds only helped to make Ronan want to do this more and more. As he brushed his tongue over the tip of Adam’s dick when he pulled back, he reached down to stroke the growing erection he was getting.

It didn’t take much longer, before Adam was moaning out his name over and over against the pillow, trying to arch his hips up, but Ronan kept them pinned. “ _Your mouth feels so good…mmm…don’t stop,”_ he groaned out as he uncovered his face. He was still trying to arch his hips against Ronan’s mouth, and this time, Ronan let him.

A few moments later, and Adam was arching his hips with more gusto, before his body tensed up. He came within Ronan’s mouth suddenly, barely uttering a warning. He clutched at the sheets on the bed as he came, groaning out. Ronan paused to drink up Adam’s cum, before swallowing it all. He then pulled away, while Adam let the euphoria evaporate from his body, releasing heavy, shaky pants from his lips.

Ronan moved to lie back down beside Adam again, feeling completely satisfied by everything that had happened. He had managed not to fuck this up for the two of them, and had managed to make Adam feel amazing in the process, judging by how Adam’s eyelids fluttered, and his lips parting and closing. As he lie there, feeling proud of himself, Adam rolled over next to him.

They didn’t say anything, but Adam curled up next to Ronan, and started kissing his neck again, gently. Ronan could hear Adam breathing against his neck, and it was turning him on even more.

“ _Hey…would you…be mad at me if I wanted you to fuck me right now?”_ Adam whispered, and Ronan couldn’t believe that Adam had just asked that question. Did Adam _really_ want to take this all the way, or was he still recovering from the intense blowjob he had just received?

Ronan wasn’t sure he was ready to go that far just yet. He wasn’t sure if _Adam_ wanted it as badly as he was leading Ronan to believe. There were so many things that could go wrong, and Adam could regret it once his thoughts were a lot clearer. Yet, here he was, asking Ronan to take his virginity away.

He glanced at Adam, the worry returning to his gaze. “I think we should wait. We’ve already done so much, so we really don’t have to go any further,” he said. The truth was that Ronan would’ve been fine with going further, if he didn’t think he’d get too into it and end up seriously hurting Adam.

Adam then rolled on top of Ronan again, looking down at him. “I’m nervous about it too…but I still trust you. We’ll just take it really slow and easy, because I really do want to do this. I’ve put thought into it, and I know you’d be hesitant,” he replied, leaning down to kiss Ronan’s lips again.

Ronan closed his eyes and returned the kiss, wrapping his arms around Adam’s neck, running his fingers through his hair as they kissed. When they pulled away, Adam rested his head against Ronan’s shoulder again. “ _Please…_ ,” he whispered, knowing that Ronan would give in.

It was still really sudden, and Ronan was still not very keen on the idea. He needed to figure out how to word his sentiments without Adam taking it the wrong way. Before he could, Adam sat up in his lap. “Here, you can just stay like that, and I’ll do everything else,” Adam suggested, as he began to grind against Ronan’s lap, making Ronan groan softly.

“I brought protection, if you’re that concerned,” Adam added, climbing off of Ronan’s lap to retrieve his pants off of the floor, reaching into one of his pockets, and removing a condom from it. Ronan narrowed his eyes at Adam in disbelief. “You _planned_ this, didn’t you?” Ronan accused, and Adam gave him a coy smile.

“Happy Birthday, Ronan,” Adam simply replied, and Ronan covered his face with one of his hands. He just lie there for a moment, then uncovered his face. “If we’re going to do this, we’re doing it right,” he stated, as he turned on his side, reaching into his bedside table drawer, retrieving a small bottle of lube.

It was Adam’s turn to narrow his eyes once he saw the bottle, and Ronan scoffed. “Oh, like you don’t jack off, the way you were talking earlier. You want to do this? _My_ birthday, _my_ rules,” he added, and Adam leaned down to kiss him again. “ _Thank you,_ ” he whispered against Ronan’s lips.

“This is already fucking awkward, so don’t make it difficult,” Ronan retorted. He uncapped the bottle, and squirted a bit of lube over his index and middle finger of his right hand, rubbing it over the digits. “Try to relax, this is going to going to feel uncomfortable for a few minutes,” he added, as he brought his hand down Adam’s body, and over his ass. As he slid his fingers down further, he found the ring of muscle, and began to tease it with his index finger.

Adam clenched up a bit from the feeling, and Ronan paused. When Adam relaxed again, Ronan began to slide one slick fingertip inside of Adam. Adam groaned from the feeling, clenching up again, and he balled his hands into fists. Ronan began to stroke Adam’s back with his free hand, and when Adam relaxed again, he slid his finger in further.

As he did, Adam groaned again. Ronan succeeded in sliding his finger inside of Adam, then slowly pulled it back, before sliding it back in again. Adam continued to groan from the feeling, and Ronan stared down at him. “ _That feel good?”_ he whispered, as he continued to slide his finger inside of Adam, then back out a bit.

“ _Mm-hmm…,”_ Adam moaned out, and Ronan could feel Adam completely relax after a few moments. Adam’s body began to suck in Ronan’s finger as he slid it in, and Ronan brought his middle finger to the hole. “ _I’m going to put another finger in_ ,” he whispered, so that Adam wouldn’t be surprised. Adam nodded in response, and Ronan slowly slid the second digit in.

With two fingers inside of Adam, Ronan began to stretch Adam out very carefully as he slid his fingers in, preparing Adam for a much bigger intrusion. Adam was enjoying the feel of Ronan’s fingers sliding inside of him, and he continued to softly moan against Ronan’s shoulder.

“ _Think you’re ready?”_ Ronan asked, relying solely on Adam’s discretion. Adam was too focused on Ronan fingering him to answer right away, and when he nodded again, Ronan slid his fingers out slowly. Ronan grabbed the condom from Adam’s hand, and tore the package open with his teeth.

Ronan removed the condom, then brought his hand down to slide it over his dick, which was fully hard again, the combination of Adam’s moaning and the way Adam’s body was reacting to being fingered bringing it back to life.

Adam sat up again, bringing his hips back over Ronan’s lap. “ _Slowly, now_ ,” Ronan reminded him, but Adam knew that. The nerves returned, and Adam hesitated as he reached back and wrapped his hand around the base of Ronan’s dick, before positioning his hips over it, teasing the hole with the tip.

Ronan was also nervous, but he was also really excited about doing this. When he felt the head of his dick suddenly begin to slide inside of Adam, he hissed loudly. Adam continued to slide onto Ronan’s dick slowly, and Ronan was overtaken by how tight Adam was. He had to grab the sheets a bit to stop himself from taking over.

Adam paused when Ronan was half-way inside of him, groaning from the feeling, and letting his body adjust to the length and girth of Ronan’s dick as it slid deeper inside of him. A moment later, and Adam brought his hips down completely, his body taking Ronan in all the way.

They gasped in unison, Adam’s erection returning completely as he felt Ronan fill him up. Adam didn’t move for a few minutes, as his body continued to adjust. There was no going back now, but Ronan was more than ready to stop if Adam started hurting.

When Adam began to move in his lap, Ronan moaned softly. Adam groaned in response, bringing his hips up, and then back down in Ronan’s lap. Ronan brought his hands over to Adam’s hips, carefully holding onto them so that Adam could move more easily.

As Adam moved, he tightened his muscles around Ronan’s dick, which felt _amazing_. “ _Shit, you’re so tight…I can barely stand how fucking good you feel, Adam_ ,” Ronan moaned out softly. “ _You feel really good too, Ronan. So good…,_ ” Adam whispered, as he began to grind against Ronan’s hips a bit faster.

Ronan’s grip on Adam’s hips tightened slightly as the pace increased. He continued to moan, pressing Adam’s hips against him gently. As he did this, Adam moaned out, and the pace increased a bit more.

As Ronan began to guide the rhythm of Adam’s hips, Adam continued to moan. “ _Ronan…please…harder_ ,” he groaned, and Ronan sat up. He wrapped his arms around Adam’s back tightly, and pressed their lips together. He began to grind his hips against Adam, and Adam began to move quicker to match the pace, moaning loudly against Ronan’s lips as they kissed passionately.

Once the pace increased again, Ronan’s arms slid down to Adam’s waist, as he continued to press Adam’s hips against him, as he thrust up against him. He moaned against Adam’s lips, as Adam held him tightly, digging his fingernails into his back.

The next time Ronan thrust against him, Adam cried out against Ronan’s lips, breaking the kiss to bury his face in Ronan’s neck. “ _Fuck, fuck, fuck, that felt so good. Do that…again, do it again_ ,” he mumbled out, and Ronan repeated the action, causing Adam to scratch at his back a bit, sending shivers down his spine as he felt the scratching.

They kept at this pace, their eyes closed tightly as the pleasure overtook them. Ronan could feel himself getting close, and Adam wasn’t too far behind. “ _You’re going…to make me cum again. Faster…please, Ronan, make me cum,”_ Adam groaned into Ronan’s ear.

Ronan began to arch his hips against Adam faster, as Adam moved his hips to match the rhythm, getting closer and closer to the edge. It only took a couple more thrusts, and Adam was groaning loudly against Ronan’s neck, tensing up as he came over Ronan’s stomach.

As Adam came, Ronan reached down and began to stroke Adam’s dick, helping him ride out the orgasm completely. The tightness around his own dick brought Ronan over the edge as well, and he finally came, filling the condom with his cum. He gripped Adam’s hips tightly as he came, groaning and panting heavily.

Once they had finished riding out their orgasms, Adam’s body went weak in Ronan’s arms. Ronan continued to hold onto him, breathing heavily against his neck. They sat there panting against each other, letting their euphoria die down.

When his thoughts were clear again, Ronan lied back against the bed, bringing Adam down with him. Adam didn’t move off of Ronan for another few minutes, and then he finally rolled onto his back again, off of Ronan.

As Ronan removed the now used condom and tossed it into a waste basket beside his bed, Adam brought an arm up over his eyes. “That was…incredible,” Adam breathed out, uncovering his face then. “So fucking incredible,” Ronan added, and Adam giggled softly.

They took a moment to regain full control of their breathing, and then Adam turned his head towards Ronan. “I hope your birthday was enjoyable,” he said, and Ronan turned his head to look at Adam.

“You’d better fucking believe it. I won’t be forgetting this, not ever. I hope I wasn’t too rough with you,” Ronan replied, turning on his side to face Adam. Adam shook his head a bit, reaching out to stroke the side of Ronan’s head.

“I’ll probably be sore tomorrow, but I don’t regret it. It was worth it, knowing that I could help you have the best birthday possible,” he acknowledged. Ronan pulled Adam into his arms, and held him close. “I had the best birthday, because I got to spend it with you. You’re the only thing I could ever ask for,” he whispered, before kissing Adam gently.

When Ronan pulled away, Adam curled up against him, and buried his face in Ronan’s chest. This was all he could ask for as well, to be with Ronan like this. As they lie there, letting sleep come to claim them, Ronan was glad that he was alive, because Adam continued to prove to him that his life meant something, and that it was all worthwhile in the end.


End file.
